Hello, and welcome to Facedown, the Facebook Breakdown. Here at Facedown we are devoted to addressing, understanding and articulating the subtext of a certain style of subtly-but-definitively heinous Facebook status update:
The Humblebrag. The Backdoor Brag. The Aren’t-I-So-Amazing.
These things are rampant and grotesque, and here at Facedown we take it upon ourselves to not only to quote them, but deconstruct them. To verbalize what lurks beneath.
Most of the material featured on Facedown is sourced by company director, Sara Barron. However, we are always looking for additional content. Please feel free to forward yours along.
Like karaoke. Except with Pretty Woman.
*for Jennifer Aniston
I think it’s important that, independent of the tabloids, someone keep a watchful, loving eye out for Jennifer Aniston. I say this because I like her, and I think that if we met, she’d like me too. Sure, I wish she’d be more relaxed in regards to her eating, but the fact of the matter is that we all have idiosyncrasies. And if hers is an eating disorder dressed up as healthy eating, fine. Who am I to judge? I ate bagels exclusively from 1994 to 1997, and while there’s an extent to which my recovery from my own illness makes me feel superior to Jennifer, I simultaneously feel that she is superior to me by virtue of her thinness.
So there you go.
Anyway, this part of this blog is reserved for the week in news of Jennifer Aniston, followed by words of wisdom for Jennifer Aniston. Think of it as kind of like a fan page, but run by someone un-retarded.